Before I turned 20, my idea of love was heavily influenced by romantic movies and novels.
I used to believe that love was a form of salvation — that one day, someone amazing would show up, love me unconditionally, and pull me out of all the dull, unhappy parts of life.
I imagined love as something perfect and magical, a way to escape from reality.
But after being in a long, seven-year relationship, I realized love was never about rescue.
It’s not about finding someone so great that your life suddenly becomes smooth and easy.
It’s about two ordinary people who can truly accept each other — flaws, quirks, and all.
Even with all our imperfections, we still choose to love, genuinely and wholeheartedly.
It’s being there for each other — bringing an umbrella on a rainy day, or tucking your hands into theirs on a cold winter night.
We love simply and sincerely.
Because of this person, your days feel a little sweeter, your tears fewer.
You start to believe that even ordinary love is worth celebrating.
You love and are loved, and that makes you believe in yourself, accept yourself, and look forward to a shared future.
After being in a healthy relationship, I finally learned that things like where you squeeze the toothpaste or what temperature you set the AC to really don’t matter.
What matters is whether we’re willing to bend a little for each other.
When I first started dating Meng, I was a girl who loved spicy food — hotpot, braised dishes, anything with chili.
He would eat with me, but he’d be sweating and gulping down water the whole time.
So, I’d make it a little less spicy for him.
After many meals together, something funny happened — he started loving spicy food, too.
And I, from adjusting for him, became less addicted to it myself.
In summer, he loved turning the AC super low, while I always felt cold.
So I’d just wrap myself in a thin blanket beside him.
But when someone truly loves you, it’s hard for them to ignore your needs.
He started turning up the temperature a bit, without me even saying a word.
We grew up in different environments, with different habits — that’s totally normal.
But people who truly love each other don’t break up over those small differences.
Instead, they slowly adapt, accept each other’s quirks, and somehow become more and more in sync.
Another thing I learned is that the best kind of relationship is the one where you’re allowed to be yourself.
We’re all individuals, with our own thoughts and emotions.
Yet society likes to put us in boxes — saying women should find a man to rely on, or that men only care about looks.
Men are told to be strong and provide for the family; women are told to be gentle and nurturing.
But in a real, healthy relationship, both people can just be themselves.
A woman can have moods — maybe from her period, or just small frustrations in love — and a man who truly loves her won’t call her unreasonable.
He’ll try to understand her, comfort her, make her laugh again.
And men don’t always have to act tough.
In a world that already puts so much pressure on them, they deserve someone who sees their exhaustion, their tears — someone who says, “It’s okay not to be strong all the time.”
When both people can support each other through vulnerability, that’s love.
Loving someone means breaking stereotypes — accepting your partner as a real, imperfect human being, someone who can cry and laugh just like you.
I also learned that arguing doesn’t ruin love.
When Meng and I first started dating, we both had avoidant personalities.
Every time we fought, my first thought was to run — to end it before it got messy.
He wasn’t great at expressing himself either.
He’d worry about me crying but wouldn’t know how to comfort me.
After two years of this, something changed.
We realized we fought not because we stopped loving each other, but because we had differences.
And differences can be solved.
You don’t have to “end” love — you just have to work through it.
Once we figured that out, our relationship became so much smoother.
In love, there’s nothing shameful about apologizing or admitting when you’re wrong.
What’s important is not letting arguments break you apart — but seeing them as a chance to understand each other better.
So many people in relationships worry too much —
“What if our parents don’t approve?”
“What if he cheats one day?”
“What if we don’t last?”
But to me, love is about enjoyment — about meeting someone you truly connect with.
We have our own interests and lifestyles, but we share enough in common to eat together, come home to the same place, and binge shows side by side.
I don’t want to live fearing what might happen years from now.
If we stay in sync, keep giving and loving, we’ll love each other for life.
And if one day, we grow apart — then we let go with grace, let each other return to the world, and keep living well.
What about you?
What lessons have you learned from love?
Share your thoughts in the comments — I’d love to hear them.
FAQ
Q1: How do you know if you’re in a healthy relationship?
A: A healthy relationship is characterized by mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Both partners support each other’s growth, communicate openly, and respect boundaries. It’s not about perfection, but about navigating life together with care and kindness.
Q2: What should I do if my partner and I have different habits?
A: It’s normal for couples to have different habits and preferences. The key is compromise and understanding. Accepting each other’s differences, adjusting where necessary, and respecting one another’s space and needs can help strengthen the relationship.
Q3: How can I improve communication in my relationship?
A: Open and honest communication is essential. Practice active listening, avoid interrupting, and be patient with your partner. Discuss issues calmly, without judgment or anger. Also, expressing your emotions and needs clearly will help avoid misunderstandings.
